I Should Be 10 Years Older

I have only been able to legally drink for just over a year, I turned 19 in February and I've noticed that I'm not your typical 'young adult', I seem way older than that. I do not act my age at all,

Even before I turned 18, I was known as the alcoholic, not literally, just meaning that I was the classic party animal up for anything and I was, I was the clown who was just out there. I loved being of the legal age and going out with my friends, getting drunk and dancing the night away. I did this for a while, started university and I was still going, I really did love it.

After a while, I realised that I didn't want to be going out as much, I was getting bored of going out to clubs because I was basically living the same night over and over again. We would pre drink at the flat until around 12 and then hit the club with the same people. I was reliving the same night and I was starting to hate it. I continued to go out, live these same nights but after a while I found myself just observing people, observing girls who wanted attention, I wasn't judging them, I mean people can do whatever they like but I just realised that all young people give a shit about what they look like when they are out, I am one for looking nice but I am not one of those going out to look for a guy to go home with. Again I am not judging these people, this is their idea of fun and they are entitled to that. I personally have never been out looking for a guy to go home with.

For the past three years I have been on an annual weekend away with a bunch of older women, there were 20 of us and only 5 under the age of 40 including me. I will admit to anyone that I would take that weekend away over a night out with people my age any day. I am so much more in my element with the older women, I think this is simply because none of them give one single shit, I mean we do fancy dress every year, we were dressed as jockeys this year and Mexicans last year, In any club we would look like such idiots but there, we didn't, we had such a great time and I would do it over and over any day, not something I would say about your classic young womens night out.

I just think that in my mind I am 10 years older, not that I want to be, I am happy being my age and being in my life but I seem to be one with the older lot, it's so much easier to let my hair down, blow off some steam and have a cracking time without having to worry about who you kissed last night or getting this guy out of your bed the next morning. I love it.

Who you need...

When growing up, it is important to realise which people should really stay in your life. It's difficult to figure out who they are when your younger, but then it becomes really clear. If they don't fight to keep you in their lives, they're not important enough to stay in yours.

When moving away, at first I fought so hard to try and keep in touch with everyone at home, even those I didn't really speak to very often, but then it turns out that no matter how hard you try, you need to realise those who keep missing your calls and facetime's, they're not going to call you back. They are going to wait for you to make the effort because in reality, they don't care enough to do it themselves.

The one thing that really gets me are the one's who are supposed to be the closest people to you but in fact they don't bother with you unless you bother with them. I've actually only had this though in my head a few weeks but I thought I would put it too the test. For the past few weeks I have called, messaged and facetimed no one, I have made no effort in hope that the ones I thought I cared about would actually make the first move for one. It was hardly surprising to see that the total calls and messages from these specific people came to a huge... zero.

I'm going back home to Wales this weekend and I've decided that I am going to use my limited time with the people I think care enough about me. I am fed up of the time wasters who are happy enough to have the funny 'let's go have a laugh' Jess and the 'OMG you're so funny drunk. let's go out' when they are home and have no one else. No... not happening any more.

Focusing on my family and friends who actually care is my main goal for the next three weeks. I'll let you know how that goes.

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My Year Being 18

So it's the beginning of February and It's getting close to the end of my year being 18. I turn 19 on the 25th of this month and I'm really excited, I think I'm just done with being 18 now, I feel like I'm supposed to be an adult but I'm still a baby when it comes to joining the adult world. I don't want to wish my life away, I want to stop getting older when I hit 19, I think that's a decent age.

Anyway this post is basically looking back on my year of being 18, and what a year it has been, I have absolutely loved it, the best year I have had, the rest of my years have a lot to live up to.

So to start off, I had my 18th birthday. What a night, it was nothing big but it was amazing. My mum spoiled me rotten and my friends made the celebrations so great!

(Probably the only decent photo from that night. We all ended up in quite a state)


Secondly, I went on my second tour with my mum and her friends, these weekends are the most fun ever. Plenty of alcohol and laughs!

I won my third comedian award, this may not seem like a big thing to everyone else but it means something to me. Knowing I make people laugh and I can get a smile out of someone is a great feeling so it's nice to be known as the one who makes people laugh. ( I was also nominated for biggest drama queen, biggest gossip, most likely to have my own reality TV show and biggest party animal... sums me up really).

I finished my A-levels. This was probably the most stressful part of my year because I really wanted to do well, I wanted to do well to prove everyone wrong, prove that I can do what I put my mind to.

I went on the most amazing holiday with my best friends. It was amazing. We went to Menorca, no where party orientated simply because two of the girls were still 17 so it was nice to be able to chill instead of potentially drinking ourselves to death.

Results day... The most anticipated day of the year. The day I thought I would hate and ruin everything I was happy about. But it didn't! I had the best news that I got in to my first choice university and I have to admit, I have never been so proud of myself, it was the best feeling to have everyone proud of me too. My mum was in tears all the way through her shift at work, to be fair I cried with her a hell of a lot.

Moving to University. Bournemouth is a long way from my little town in Wales, it's so different too. But I'm so happy here, I have great friends, I'm loving my course and I have the most fun in work. All in all, I can't complain.

So there you have it, a summary of my past year. The most amazing year by far.

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What I would tell my 10 year old self

It's clear that everyone changes when growing up, but for me, I am a completely different person. As a 10 year old, I was a nervous, depressed kid with no friends. I didn't have the confidence that I have now, I was completely on my own, too shy to talk to anyone, no one wanted to be around me and friends were just a dream to me, not the reality. I wouldn't usually do a post like this simply because I feel like in order to give advice, you need to actually know what you're talking about and know enough to be able to tell others what to do, what to change and how they can live their life. In this case, I am writing this completely because I am proud of the difference in my person. I am so happy in my life and this post is just to show how much has changed and how much I have overcome.

Dear 10 year old self...

• People don't matter, although it's nice to have people around you, it's okay to be selfish and live in a world where only you and your dreams matter, it takes time but you come out on top in the end.

• Share your charm and comical abilities with others, this is you. Don't show people the Jess they want you to be, it get's old and you get bored. Make people laugh because that is something you're good at.

• Stop caring, before people start liking you, you need to like yourself and in order to do that, you need to forget everyone and just be happy.

• You're sitting alone at break and lunch times, make an effort girl, go to the people because they won't come to you. Show people you're worthy of being a friend, you're good to be around.

• You have no friends? They're coming, just wait a while, you find them in the end. You'll realise that they were right in front of you the whole time and they're there all the way through your teenage life and these are not friends you're going to give up any time soon.

• You do lose people, people you think you need right now, it turns out you're stronger without them. In a few years time, they are nothing to you.

• Family wise, it's a roller coaster girl so hold on! You never become the favourite for many stupid reasons, I'll let you find out for yourself. But you will face a lot of horrible times and tears. You find that the person the whole family loves, isn't important and you'll let him know. But there is one thing I will tell you, you and Hayden come out on top.

• You not only have friends, you have people you never thought you would. You've become something you never thought you would. Those 'popular' people you'll find in a year or so, you'll be someone they love in 7 years time. Just because you showed them you. You were no one but yourself and you've earned the love from everyone.

• You're so happy with everything when you hit 18 and there is so much to come for you. 

• There's so much to be excited for. Hang in there because everything gets better. Because you stop caring.

Thanks for reading. Please feel free to leave your comments, all are appreciated.

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Uni/Dorm Room Ideas On Pinterest

If you read regularly, you'll know I'm about to go to university and until now I haven't actually even thought of what I'm going to do with my room. So like every other blogger in the world, I took to Pinterest to find some ideas on what I could do in order to make my new room feel like a home. I'm going for the vintage / shabby chic look because I think it looks beautiful and you can be so creative with it I also want my room to have a cosy feel to it. On this post, there will be mainly pictures but it will leave the link to them below. Anyway this is what I found...

http://www.srtrends.com/dorm-decorating-ideas/

http://stylecaster.com/well-designed-dorm-rooms/? utm_campaign=socialflow&utm_source=facebook.com&utm_medium=referral

http://www.buzzfeed.com/h2/pulse/gabbynoone/26-cheap-and-easy-ways-to-have-the-best-dorm-room-ever#.ivnxrrOwN

http://www.woohome.com/interiors/35-charming-boho-chic-bedroom-decorating-ideas

http://imgfave.com/view/3726226

Thanks for reading. Please feel free to leave your comments, all are appreciated.

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NYX Matte Lip Gloss

So I was looking for a dark lip colour ready for Autumn (Fall), I looked in most drug stores around where I live and I couldn't find anything I wanted so I took to the internet, like I do for most things and NYX is on the list of first websites I looked on. There I not only found two perfect colours but they are matte too! Which is a bonus.

(Colours: Copenhagen & Transylvania)

I'm not going to lie, I think I may buy all of the collection because it is the most perfect creation in the world, it is everything you need in a lip gloss and it lasts AGES!! I would highly recommend this to anyone looking for lip colour in general!!

Thanks for reading. Please feel free to leave your comments, all are appreciated.

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NEW BLOG!

I can't believe it but I got into Bournemouth University, I actually did it and now I'm so excited to start my new life.

This post is basically to inform that I will be starting a sort of side blog with occasional diary posts or some things I just want to get off my chest regarding my experiences and problems at university. You don't have to read it but it's there for me or someone who is feeling the same as I am.

I have no idea what this new experience is going to bring but I'm so excited to find out.

Be sure to follow my new blog: http://cressysuniadventure.blogspot.co.uk/

Thanks for reading. Please feel free to leave your comments, all are appreciated.

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