Being judgmental

It's only now occurred to me that I know so many of those people who judge by first glance. Those who pick at you because they want you to know that there's something wrong with the way you look or there's something about you that they may not like, they tell you in hope that you will change yourself just because they said so.

When I was younger, I used to see people judging others on a daily basis but when I turned 16 I realized that not everyone is judging, but now I'm sort of rethinking that and realizing that I was wrong and people are just as judgey as they were before. 

But then I realized something else. I noticed that the people I had seen or heard being judgmental are the ones who are most obsessed with the way they looks. It's either the girls who can't leave their house without makeup and the guys who are totally obsessed with their hair and going to the gym. They try so hard to hide the things they are most insecure about and then point out the insecurities of others. 

There is not one person in this world who hasn't even slightly judged someone, everyone has done it. But the ones I really don't get are the ones who do it constantly and those who find it amusing. Why do they do this? It's something I don't get and I probably never will. If you ever feel like you're being judged, just remember that they are using you to hide what they hate about themselves.

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Results day blues.

So for the UK students who have either just finished their first or second year of sixth form and today was the day we collected our results from the exams we did a couple of months ago. 

For many, today didn't go very well at all. I unfortunately am one of the people who didn't get the results I wanted and I was hoping and praying I would get so much more than I did. I can't help but think I'm a failure and that every exam I do, I'm going to fail it. Once you recieve that piece of paper and it's not what you wanted or expected you feel like a disappointment to everyone! 

Today wasn't a sad day for everyone, some were over the moon about their results and they deserve what they got and I'm happy for them but I can't help but get so jealous. When I got my results I couldn't stop crying, I was devastated. So many things were rushing through my head like what happens now? Do I have to resit a year? Am I allowed to come back next year? I can't explain how fast my heart was racing. It was hell. It's so annoying when you know you worked your ass off for this exam and then it just shows that you can't do it and that basically all of the hard work was for nothing. If you are like me and didn't do very well, I don't have any advice for this one. I'm still coming to terms with it. Most people have told me that it's going to get better and I will get much higher grades next year, so I'm sort of depending on the idea that I can add to my grades next year if I try one thousand times more than I did.

It's times like these when you need your friends around you and fortunately for me, I had all of my best ones around me to keep the results off of my mind. They really did get rid of my results day blues and I actually managed to have a really good day once I left the school. For a few hours I forgot about it.
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Step parents.

As a child my mum had her fair share of boyfriends, my brothers and I didn't mind because the ones who actually lasted long enough were nice, they were funny. When I was 6, my mum had been dating this guy. She seemed really happy. I know you're probably wondering how I remember this, I remember because it turned out that this guy was about to become a big part of my life. 

My mum would big this guy up in hopes that we would like him when we finally came to meet him, later I would find out that I already met him, before my mum did. 

My dad had this friend, her kids and I used to always make fun of her and my dad, saying that they would be a perfect couple. I loved going to see my dad's friend and her family, again, I later discovered that they were going to be my family. It turns out that the guy mum was dating was my dad's friends brother.

My brothers got to meet him before I did because at this age I had a bed time and mums new boyfriend came over after that time, the next day I woke up to a letter next to my bed, it was from this guy. The letter said something like I'll look forward to meeting you Jess and all that sort of stuff. 

As time went on, I obviously met him and after a year or so, he moved in. I was happy, my mum was happy, everyone seemed happy.

After about four years after that, they got married and this guy was now my step dad.

Unfortunately after five years of marriage, they separated. I hated this, I cried on and off for about a month.

I still see my step dad three times a week, he's a second dad to me, sometimes I think that he's better than a dad. I mean don't get me wrong I love my biological dad, but I feel that I'm closer to my step dad, he's there when nobody else is and I love him. He didn't have kids of his own and therefore sees my brothers and I as his children, there has not been one time where he has introduced me as his stepdaughter, I have never heard that word come out of his mouth, he has always called me his daughter no matter what.

With my dad's marriage, I can't say he was that lucky. I'm one of those people who have experienced both ways it can when you have step parents. I had an amazing one and I had a horrific one.

My dad met his woman on a dating site and let's just say it didn't end well! She was horrible, never paid a penny for anything, conned my dad out of so much money and didn't care about anyone else but herself. Thankfully the marriage only lasted less than a year, it's safe to say I hope to never see that woman again. This woman doesn't deserve a massive story like my step dad does so I cut that very short.

It's weird how step parents can be. Some will love you as their own and some will pretend you're not even there. But if you have step parents that love you then lucky you because they are great. But for those of you with step parents from hell, hang in there! It gets better.

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Do you have to try?

So it's summer and I've just finished my first year of sixth form, being in sixth form, you make friends with those you have known for years but never actually said a word to and you sort of form a bond as a year, that's what my year did anyway. We were never close as a year in the lower school but that's all changed. So when we go back to school, the new year are going to come up to sixth form, we don't know which ones chose to stay and which ones are going to college but as a year, we are not looking forward to it. 

I was talking to a few of the people in the year below, ones i actually get on with and one of them said to me "one of the teachers said that it would be better if I stayed, so I'm staying" to Which I replied "That's if you get the grades?". To be able to get into sixth form, you need at least 5 C grades in your exams. The person I was taking to has got really bad anger and behavior issues and this person later informed me that this he doesn't need the grades and that they'll keep him anyway. 

Once he explained this, I started to wonder. If they are keeping you anyway, why is it that all of the other people have to work hard to get in and you don't. It feels like because this person got into a fair bit of trouble in school, he can get what he wants. People work so hard to get good grades to be able to stay on in school and he gets the easy option. I personally don't think that's fair. I worked so hard in my exams, once they were over, I cried at night thinking and worrying that I had failed and when I found out that I got the grades I was over the moon. This person doesn't have to worry and everyone else does. I hate that.

Everyone in my year tried their hardest to get where they are, they got the grades they needed and it turns out you don't need grades, you just need to behave badly to get what you want. What kind of example is that setting to the younger ones? 

I really don't understand this, why would you want to keep someone if they were a total pain in the ass for five years? I honestly don't get it. 

If I had my say, those who don't get the grades, don't get in. They could re-sit the exams until they got the grades like everyone else not get in because you know how to work the teachers and you know you can walk all over them.

Let's just say this person is setting them self up for failure, no university is going to take them because they are a nasty piece of work who goes through life walking all over people. There is no way this person deserves to be able to stay on.

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E.L.F Cosmetics

I have this slight obsession with low cost makeup and internet shopping so when I  merge the two obsessions together, it makes me so so happy!

I didn't know about this one place where you get super low price makeup online. E.l.f!! It's sooo good! The thing I loved most about it is the fact that when you spend £20, you get a 'mystery bag' which is £15 worth of free stuff, and I love free stuff, the free-er the better! You don't know what it contains before you receive it but it's totally worth the surprise!

So this is the stuff I bought...

♥All Over Cover Up Stick -£1.95

♥Tinted Moisturiser -£1.95

♥Eyelid Primer -£1.95

♥Zit Zapper -£1.95

♥Lash&Brow Clear Mascara -£1.95

♥Eye Crease Brush -£1.95

♥Concealer Brush -£1.95

♥Matte Lip Colour -£3.95

♥Zit Eraser -£3.95

 And this is the stuff I got for free...

 

Luscious Liquid Lipstick, Glitter Primer, Nail Polish, Mineral Eyeshadow, Cream-To-Powder Blush

I have no idea how much these cost individually, all I know is that it is worth £15 all together. In order to receive this, you have to spend atleast £20 to get a mystery bag! £20 may seem a lot to spend on makeup for you but you do get so much for this amount so it's totally worth it!

I am so so happy with everything I have, I'm really excited to try it out. If you are looking for great quality and low prices makes then I highly recommend e.l.f! A lot of their products is mineral makeup so it's so good for your skin. So yeah, I'm really enjoying their store!

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Things To Do This Summer.

If you are anything like me then you are sitting in your house day in day out doing nothing but laying on the sofa watching Jeremy Kyle. You have planned an amazing summer with your friends but none of these plans have come into action. Before summer you thought to yourself, wow this summer is going to be great... and then it's not!
When you have a friendship group as large as mine (7 girls may not seem a lot) it's very hard to get a day where every one is free, it's almost impossible and when you do get the group together, you no longer have the money to do anything.
If you can relate to this then you have come to the right place! I have decided to come up with things that could help keep you occupied this summer, whether you are alone or with your friends, it's something.
1. Now the first one seems really boring but when you are like me and live in a beautiful town, going for a long walk is great, it's so relaxing and it releases so much stress.

 

2.Go to the beach! Who doesn't love going to the beach?  Yes, that was a rhetorical question! Get your friends together and go, you don't need to spend money, it's a great laugh and you get a tan whilst doing it! Personally, going to the beach with my friends is my favorite part of summer! I am such a child when it comes to the beach, grab my bucket and spade and I'm gone!

3. Find a hobby. It can be so difficult to find something you are good at and enjoy, I mean I have no hobbies, like none what so ever. My life is literally the internet. But if  you want your summer to go a little better than it is now, you need to keep yourself occupied. Try picking up a pencil and draw the first thing that comes to mind, no matter what it is and how stupid you may think it seems, its probably not, just think and then project that onto a piece of paper.

Drawing by @crazyartist (Instagram)

4.My project for this summer is decorating my room, completely changing it, however it does cost quite a lot, but if you do have the money, go for it! I'm going to be starting mine on Monday and I can't wait, I know that sounds stupid but it's one thing that's going to keep me busy, not for long but for long enough.

(Not my room)

5.Learn to cook! Again I know it seems boring but cooking is something you are going to need in the future and why not start learning now? I mean I learned to cook a few summers ago and my mother drove me up the wall but what I didn't realize is that I could easily have looked on YouTube to teach me how to do things, surprise your parents maybe! When they get home from work, it would be a great surprise for them to come home to a meal on the table. That's another way you could get them in a good mood when you want to ask for something.

6. I have mixed opinions on the summer heat, I love the sun but when it comes to feeling sticky and sweaty, I really hate it. One of the things I used to love when i was younger was water fight, there is nothing better than fighting with water when you are feeling hot and bothered and it's so much fun.

7. Find a summer job. As a student I know how hard it is to get money to become able to do things that involve spending money. I get my money by covering my Auntie when she wants time off so that's a bit of money for the summer. It will pay off in the long run, you will no longer have to rely on your parents for money.

8. Read a book. Find a book which really interests you, one that you have wanted to read for a long time, sit out in the sun (skin protected obviously) and read, it's actually really relaxing and it passes so many hours.

9. If you are one obsessed with the internet and do not wish to part with it, summer or not. You should find a new series to watch, a long one preferably. Personally I have for some reason started watching Glee, which is completely random for me. I have watched 'Orange is the new black' but I couldn't get into it, it wasn't that good in my eyes, but a lot of people enjoy it so I would definitely recommend it because it has so many good reviews, just because it wasn't for me, it doesn't mean it's not for you.

10. The last one which has helped me a lot is, start a blog yourself. It may sound 'cheesy' and 'cringe' to your friends when you mention it but it is such a time killer and if you have your mind set on doing it then go for it, if it's something that you are having doubts about and you don't think you'll be dedicated to it, I don't think it is for you.

Instagram Diary | First Few Weeks Of Summer...

           

Spending my summer with the people I love most!

                   

♥Throwback Thursday. Ellie, Laura & me at the themepark. (Top left)

♥A catch up with Eleanor yesterday. I'm going to miss her. (Top middle)

♥Lady Gaga toothbrush. My mum has an obsession with Lady Gaga, she loves her so so much, all of my friends call her 'Mama Gaga' because she's that obsessed. Her friend baught her a singing toothbrush which sings 'Born This Way' and 'Show Me Your Teeth. (Top right)

♥#SELFIE! The first BBQ of the summer!! (Middle left)

♥My bestfriend and I at her birthday celebrations. (Middle middle)

♥4/6 of my best friends! Again at the birthday celebrations. I have this thing where I post more than one picture from each event. (Middle right)

♥My cringey photo collage thing that friends tend to do on their friends birthday, but I love her so it's ok! (Bottom left)

♥Lunch with Eve, I love spending time with her! (Bottom middle)

♥Carnival day with Bryani and Eleanor, it wasn't a very summery day, umbrellas galore!! (the rest of my friends were there too) I love this photo, it's rare that I spend time with these two. I love it when I do! (Bottom right)

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