Those friends...

Remember those friends you had when you were younger, they were like your best friends and you couldn't imagine not having them, and then all of a sudden you think 'wow I haven't spoken to them in years'? I remember them!

Ever since I was a 1 year old, my dad moved quite a lot, he moved non stop for the next three years. That obviously didn't bother me because I was a baby, I didn't know what was going on, I probably didn't care.

So when I was around 4-5 years old, my dad moved for the last time, at this point I was aware of what moving was and I was told that we were going to live somewhere else. I only lived with my dad on the weekend so it didn't bother me.

Once my dad was settled in his new house, my brother and I started staying with him again. Personally I loved this house. It was right next to a park and as a 4 year old it was like heaven. 

After a year or two I started to go to the park by myself, with my dad occasionally popping his head out to check I was ok. I didn't have any friends beause I didn't know anyone and most of the kids I observed looked mean and nasty, the sort of kids with the chavvy parents who had about seventy two kids. They were not the kids I wanted to be around. 

One day I was in the park with my brother minding our own business having fun on the jungle gym. We noticed two girls on the swings, one of them looked my age and one looked a bit younger. They seemed like nice people, the only kids I had seen who didn't look like they had just crawled out of a cardboard box. They then came over and started talking to my brother and I. I then learned that they were sisters. This was the start of a new friendship, it got to a point where every single weekend I would go and call for them to come out and play, they were great friends! They only lived a street away from me so it was easy to go and see them. These were my new best friends! 

About a year or so after, they moved into the same street as me, this meant so many sleepovers and parties together, we loved it! This went in for about five or six years, up until it was time for me and one of the sisters to go to comprehensive school, I didn't live near them during the week so I went to a completely different school. Once we had made new friends and started to grow up, the sisters no longer bothered with me. It was literally a 'Hi' in the street. After a few months that stopped, it ended up somehow as us giving evil looks to eachother in passing.

So now, both myself and one of the sisters are 17, I'm actually not sure what she's doing now and for the other one, she's still in school.

The one thing that bothered me was, about a year ago there was a party for all of the students in the county who were about to leave school. This was the first time I had seen one of the sisters in years, I thought I would be friendly, say hey and ask how she's been. But no. Stupid Jess. Should not have done that. 

The bitch completely blanked me, hell no. A part of me wonders if I was better off not having her in my life.

Irritating sibling.

About a month ago, my brother came home from university and ever since he's been home, I've wanted him to go back! 

I am one of four, my sister being 25, my oldest brother being 23, my other brother 19 and myself 17.

When you think of siblings you automatically think that the youngest one would be the most annoying, that most certainly is not the case in my family! 

My 19 year old brother is the most annoying person I have ever met in my whole life! 

I have recently made a YouTube channel, I have only put one video on it because I really don't know where I'm going to take it.

Anyway, I was doing some research because I thought it would be a good idea to make a video on annoying siblings and how annoying mine is, I was looking at ways to annoy people and no word of a lie, about 80% of the ideas on there have already been covered by my brother.

I literally sat there reading them to my brother, he doesn't realise how bad he is when it comes to getting on people's nerves! He will search and search for a topic of conversation that will end up in an arguement, and once the arguement is done, he'll come back for more and literally never let it go he will go on and on until someone breaks and screams at him.

You think you have an annoying brother, you clearly haven't met mine!! 

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Cardiff.

So yesterday I got back from a two day trip to Cardiff with the school. The purpose of the trip was to see some parts of welsh culture and cover the language part of a subject called Welsh Bacc, a subject only those students in Wales aged 14-18 have to do, which sucks because it only came into action a few years ago, which means I got caught in the new age groups that had to do it. I am the only one in my family who has to do it, my three other siblings missed it. Yes, lucky them.

So we left around 9:15 to head to a place called 'St.Fagans', it took us about two hours to get there. St.Fagans is basically a historical place where you get to see how houses have developed throughout time. For example the first house was like one that looked like the first house that had been made, a simple house with no complications. Oh apart from the fact that the people back then were like 5ft tall and didn't need a very big doorway, unfortunately for me, I'm 6ft tall which means I hit my head on a few doorways here and there which now leaves me with a huge lump on the top of my head, yay! There was one thing I liked about that place, which was the gardens, they were beautiful, the pond looked so pretty.

At 1:30, we headed to Cardiff castle, walking in I thought it was great, I thought I would be so interested in the tour, I was quite excited up until the point where we met our tour guide. At first, everyone loved the tour guide, we thought he was sarcastically funny, turns out he wasn't, he was just a prick! We headed into so many rooms where he would ask the same questions in every single room ''Who do you think designed this room?'', ''Why do you think this?'', ''Why do you think it has been done this way?'', these questions were followed by the line ''Everyone is entitled to their opinion, I'm not here to judge you.'' which was ironic because that's all he did, we would answer and straight away, he would be a knob about it. I think it was about the third room in where he got quite aggressive, it was funny but still. There was one point where he was talking about a girl a few hundred years ago who had one leg longer than the other, the first thing you do when someone says that is nervously laugh, but no, not with this tour guide. Our laughter was followed by him aggressively saying ''When we talk about someone with one leg bigger than the other, we don't laugh do we boys?''. Then after a while one of the boys yawned, it was so boring so I didn't blame him! But as soon as he did, out tour guide comes out with ''I think you should put your hand over your mouth when you yawn young man.''. It was funny because as soon as he said that, so many people started yawning, but the thing that made me laugh the most is that one of the teachers actually left the room to yawn so he didn't get told off. I have to admit, I was so jealous of the other people who weren't in our group and had a different tour guide.

Once we got away from the monster who was our tour guide, we were given a treasure hunt in either Spanish or Italian, we had to read what the sheet said and go wherever it told us to go. But no one really bothered with it, we just went shopping and spent a shit load of money because no one could actually read Spanish or Italian. This is where I experienced my first starbucks! My friend thought it would be funny to tell me to get the woman to write 'Bonqueesha' on my cup fully knowing I would do it. That was no where near as funny as when the other woman shouts ''Banana yoghurt frapuccino for Bonqueesha''. That made my day, seriously.

After we were all spent out, we headed to our accommodation, we stayed at the Cardiff University student halls. We then had to wait until our names were read out and put into rooms with others. My friends were called out before me which meant that they were with at least one of the girls in our group, except me, I am never put with my main friendship group, I'm always the odd one out. I thought I would feel really shit about who I was with after all of my friends had gone with their group, I didn't know who I would be put with but it turns out I was put in a room with another group of girls who I love a lot, we had so much fun in our room! I loved being with them!

We then headed up to our rooms and unpacked so we could  then get ready for our meal out, everyone looked so lovely! We went to this Italian restaurant in Cardiff Bay which was so nice, everyone seemed so happy. The meal went so fast though, in no time at all we were heading back to our bus to go back to the accommodation.

In our flat there were 8 rooms, the six of us girls had a room each. Every flat had a teacher in it too, we had a P.E teacher, I didn't really think I would get along with this teacher because in the past, I had never had a proper conversation with her, we went to our lesson, and then left again. But it turns out the teacher we had was class, she was so much more fun than I thought she would be, in the lower years of my school life I always thought she was so strict so when it came to sharing a flat with her, I wasn't the happiest person. But once it came to it, she was great, we had the music blasting, all dancing around like crazies. I did get really annoying once it was time to go to sleep, I went to bed before she came back up to our flat, she had to check that we were all there in our rooms, myself and one of the other girls had gone to bed before the other four and locked our doors, about half an hour later I heard the teacher knocking at my door, I didn't respond because I knew it would wake me up if I shouted back. She was knocking and shouting for about five minutes, but I still didn't shout back, I heard the other girls explaining to her that I was in the room but the teacher was having none of it, she told them she wouldn't stop until she got a response from me, I didn't bother shouting so i grunted instead, she asked me three questions and i grunted in answer to all of them, the girls outside were laughing so hard! But i really couldn't be bother to shout.

Day 2
We were woken up at 7 in the morning, we weren't impressed even slightly. We were expected to be out at the bus at 7:45 ready to go. That's what we did, everyone was ready and headed out to the bus. It took a while for us to leave. The other bus left for Cardiff centre first and we followed behind them, as were were just about to turn out of the accommodation car park, the bus made a really loud noise, it wasn't a pleasant one. We had broken down, which was not fun considering none of us had had a cup of tea yet which we were looking forward to, everyone was in such a shitty mood! It was a nightmare. It took 45 minutes for the other bus to come back for us which meant we were an hour late to get breakfast, there were only 24 out of 62 of the students on our our bus, we had 4 member of staff too. When we eventually got to wherever we wanted our breakfast , we only had a short amount of time until we had to meet the others from the other bus. No one knew what was happening at this point, we were all gathered in a group, we looked like some sort of army. They then split us into two groups and put one of them on the bus, they then took people from our group until they had filled the bus. I was one of the people who didn't go on the bus. There were 8 of us and 6 staff, fortunately I had 5 of the 6 of my friends with me, one of them went of the bus, I didn't like that, I wanted her with us! Something that made me laugh was when one of the teachers was talking to me, she turned around to me and said ''Hey Jess, you're scary, go and make that bus driver take us to Swansea, I would listen to you if I were him'' I wasn't actually sure if it was a back handed compliment or not, but it was funny. Anyway, we were only stuck in Cardiff for about an hour and a half, which meant more shopping whilst the others were heading to a museum, I have to admit, I was so chuffed that I didn't have to go. Eventually the mini bus came, which was great, by then we had all had our cup of tea so we were happy and excited bunnies.

We finally caught up with the other group, we missed the museum (YESS!!) and went straight to an all you can eat restaurant which was soooo good! That was basically it, we then headed back home.
Overall, the trip was so much fun, everyone seemed so happy and it was a great trip!!

School children.

I personally love school, I really enjoy my time there! But there is one thing that annoys me about the children in the lower school.

I'm now just finishing my first year of sixth form, so that's 6 years since I started my first year of secondary school and let me tell you, there has been so much change in the children's behaviour since. I was actually shocked when I looked back and compared my year 7 peers to the year 7's now.

When I was in year 7, I have to admit that my year were far from perfect. Ofcourse every year has it's faults, the kids at that age are quite difficult to handle. Personally, I only had one fight in my first year. I look back now and think that so many people in my year made some of the teachers lives hell. I was one of those who started off shy and gradually came out of my shell, once my shell had disappeared I did become one of the loud ones, but I would always use it to have a laugh and a joke with the teachers, I wasn't a disrespectful child, well, there was my form tutor who I didn't get on with that well, me and one of my friends had detention with her almost every lunch time for about 2 years. When I see her now, I instantly feel sorry for her and sorry for the way my form treated her. In all of my time in the lower school years (7-11) I think I got into big trouble three times, which isn't that bad considering that that was throughout 5 years.

At the start of the year, my year were asked to do prefecting, which is basically sitting in one of the corridors at lunch once a week making sure the kids weren't wondering around the school. The kids would knock at the door and demand that we let them in, which defeats the object of being a prefect. I always looked forward to being one because the five years before sixth form, I used to hate the prefects, I wanted the power that they had. Anyway, once I had started prefecting, I started to acknowledge the behaviour in the children. They are horrible. Obviously I can't say that every single child in school is horrible but the innocent only come in a small minority. They would swear and show so much disrespect towards us it was rediculous, I had never expected that sort of language to come from children as young as they are. Also the way they talk to the teachers, one teacher once told me that a child had called her a 'fat lesbian' I mean that's disgusting behaviour, not one teacher deserves to be talked to the way they are sometimes, but the thing is, the punishment system has gone so downhill! It's gotten to a point where the ones who break the rules extremely tend to get away with it without punnishment. I was walking down a corridor once and this girl in year 9 I think, walked past a teacher and shouted 'you're a cunt' and he replied 'good morning (name)' and carried on with his day, I was so shocked! I mean if that was my school, things would be so much different.

I also noticed on my school bus, there are some who sit at the front, ranging from years 7-10, I see them all rolling cigarettes, yes that includes the year 7's, there is no way I would have been seen caught dead lighting a cigarette whilst being that age, I mean to this day, I have never touched a cigarette, never even fancied trying it, not once and I'm 17, these kids are 12-15, the older ones have been smoking for about two years. This makes the kids in my year look like angels at the age of 12. All we did was mess around or fight, we would never dream of smoking or doing drugs at that age. 

I'm making myself sound like the perfect child, that's really not the case, I was far from perfect, but I tell you that compared to the kids now, my mum was pretty lucky, all she had to deal with was me being a bit cheeky at points and an odd fight here and there. There was no way I could ever put my mum through some of the shit that most mothers of those children have to cope with. I couldn't do it. The thing that really gets me is the fact that they do it because they think it's the cool thing to do and they will earn respect by doing it when it's the complete opposite.

My year nine self and my sixth form, this goes to show that I use a pencil as a moustache selfie to make myself look cool, not swear at teachers and take drugs. 

The next step.

So it's come to the end of my first year of sixth form and it's bugging me that I really don't know what I want to do after I leave, I know there's still quite a long time before I finish school but it's getting to the point where everyone knows what they want to do afterwards, whether the decision is to stay on an extra year in school, go straight into work and the most popular, going to university studying what they think they wan to do in the future.

I have decided that I want to go to university but unlike so many others in my year, I don't know which one I would prefer or what subject I'd like to study, I mean I'm not completely unsure about the subject, I have my guidelines. 

So for the last year or so, I've really liked the idea of doing criminology, basically studying the minds and action of criminals, it really interested me, it still does. However, I spent a week in the majistrates court for work experience and it completely changed my perspective. A question I was asked while I was there was 'so why do you want to go into law?' At this point I still liked the idea of criminology, I never really thought about going into law. But then the day after, a university student who was also on work experience started telling me about her course and future payment, I instantly thought wow. That was the point where I started debating whether I still wanted to do criminology or of law was becoming an option. I mean there is so much more pay in law, it's an industry that will ever become unneeded, you will always need a solocitor. I think the thing that really caught me was a conversation between two solicitors, one of them asked the other if he wanted to join him on a weekend abroad, it was so casual, then this guy who was invited went online and booked his tickets there and then, I mean how great is that, a great job with great pay, so much that you can afford to waste money on stupid things, not that a holiday is stupid but I think you get the point. I couldn't help but imagine how great their lives must be, with a nice car, probably a nice house and expensive clothes, who doesn't want that? I'm not saying that you should go into a job that you're not ambitious about just because it pays well, but personally I'm interested in crime and law, it's the thing that most interests me. Although I think that's because I'm great at arguments and I feel that it's a profession that would get me to where I want to be. So yeah, I'm not quite sure about my next step but what's meant to be will be.

May...

This year, may has been such a busy month for me. It's been crazy!

This month I've completed all my exams in my first year of sixth form, but the one thing I did wrong was going out on a girls weekend before hand, which meant I got back home a day before my first two exams. Now I'm starting to wonder whether it was a good idea, actually I know it wasn't a good idea.

The weekend I went on was with a group of women from Cardiff aged 18-60, it was amazing, the girls are the funniest people I've ever met, as the youngest, I felt quite awkward at first, I didn't know anyone, but after a while it was fine. The worst thing of the weekend is that two of the girls ended up in A&E, which was scary for them because we were in a completely new place. We went to western super-mare.

The whole point in the weekend was to play skittles, a game that is sort of like bowling but slightly different, with a smaller ball and heavier skittles. Anyway, this was new to me, everyone else on the team of 20 had played before, I hadn't, I had no idea what I was doing. The first time I played, I was terrible, I think it was because I was sober, the times where I wasn't so sober, I played brilliantly, I ended up coming third out of 500 people which was weird, I won a medal which was brill!

On the first night, it was just a night of drinking, the only problem for me is that I drink like a fish, from that night onwards, I was known as 'Dory', not only because I drink like a fish but I would wonder off and get lost and talk to completely random people. At one point I had 19 girls shouting 'DORY! WHERE ARE YOU??'. Obviously no one helped because they didn't know who dory was.

I'm the sort of person, not to big myself up, but I make friends really easily. I literally talk to everyone. I mean the barman even gave me a nickname. I'd never met them before but they found me really friendly, the banter I had with them was great! 

One the second night we had to dress up, I wasn't particularly happy about what we dressed up, one because they had done this the year before and second, it wasn't very creative. We dressed up as people who would go on 'I'm a celebrity...get me out of here' it was great fun though never the less. That night was the best night, I loved it. It was crazy. Everyone loved it. Although it wasn't that fun on the coach drive home, everyone was hungover like hell. We all looked like death. I think the team infront of us on the coach hated us a little bit considering we were so loud just to piss them off.

Now next year is booked and I'm so excited.

Anyway, I got home a day before two of my religious studies exams, I felt like crap, I don't think the first one went so well, the second went slightly better thank heavens.

My exams are all finnished now, so I have a holiday until the 11th of June which I'm enjoying spending time with the family.

So may has been a weird, stressful but wonderful month for me! And to Finnish off the month, going to a theme park with two of my faves was brill!

Family favourite.

So this post is about one of my cousins. I have talked about her before in an other post 'Love'.

I talked about her habbit of getting a different boyfriend every few weeks.

Anyway, this cousin is on my mums side of the family, my mums side is a lot smaller than my dad's, he has 6 brothers, which leaves me 16 cousins and 17 great cousins on his side. Whereas on my mums side, I only have 5 cousins.

I don't know if I have mentioned before, but I really do not like my mums side of the family, I hate them and they hate me, that's the way it has always been. The five cousins have always been my nans favourite, when around her they act so innocent, but when in real life they are the most horrific people I have ever met, it's hard to explain to my mum because she, my nan and my auntie (their mum) think they are perfect, they are really not. Take one of them for example, she's about three years younger than me, she's a bit larger than everyone else. She always plays the 'I'm always bullied at school but never do anything wrong' card. Her story is wrong. I see her about school treating people like they are so small, she's horrible. Her head of year teaches me, he doesn't know she's my cousin (I don't tend to tell people) and he goes on about her saying he really doesn't like her because she's such a horrid person. The family don't know this because they can't see the way she is in school, they see her as so perfect and she can't do anything wrong. I hate that.

So the cousin who I want to talk about is the same age as me, we have always hated eachother. Again, she was always the favourite one in the family, the pretty one the lovely one (so they think) and the one who couldn't do any wrong in their eyes.

See, I don't like to lie to my family, so if I were to do something wrong, I would come clean about it. Not her, she would lie so that she looked good or so she could look like the victim. I remember one time she got together with this boy from school, he wasn't one of the normal guys she went for, he was nice, I liked this one, he's a nice boy, he obviously didn't know what he was getting himself into. Anyway, they were together for about a month before my perfect cousin got bored and decided to go looking for someone else, while still going out with this one. She cheated. She did something wrong. She hurt him. When they eventually finished after he found out how much of a bitch she is, she went home and told her family that he hurt her, he cheated and that he treated her like shit. I knew this wasn't the truth but no, not anyone else, they all believed the perfect girl they think she is.

Out of the two of us, I have the brains, she has the looks, but doesn't care about her future. Well why would she? The rest of her family are on the dole, letting tax payers pay for them to live. Not me, I always had the ambition to work so hard to be able to have an amazing future, this doesn't matter to my family. My brother is at university, while the cousin the same age as him is in a local pantomime. Who do you think is the favourite? Yes, you guessed it, the cousin. Anyway, both me and miss perfect did our exams last summer, fortunately for me I got much higher grades than she did and managed to get a place in sixth form. She didn't get good grades, somehow she managed to get E's and U's in all of them. So when I decided to celebrate my success, my mum and nan told me not to, simply because it would hurt my cousins feelings, because "she's not very good at school, she can't help it". NO. That was not the case. I was in her year at school so I knew what she was like, it's not that she couldn't do well, she didn't want to. She was only concerned with getting a new boyfriend, bitching, falling out with her friends and popularity. But the funny thing was, she wasn't popular, she has three friends because nobody liked her because she is a horrible, nasty person. 

One day, I punched one of her friends because she asked me for a fight and didn't think I would do it (she regretted it). Once my mum and auntie got hold of this information, they both decided to gang up on me, which I understand because it was wrong to do it, even though she deserved it. I can't remember a lot that they said to me but one of the things stuck, because it made me laugh. The conversation went something like this

Her: "You're a nasty piece of work, this is why you have no friends"

Me: "I have plenty of friends!"

Her: "yeah because their all horrible like you"

This made me laugh so so much, which didn't go down well, because I have a large group of friends who are such lovely people, just because I did one stupid thing. My friends and I are horrible. But the funniest thing is that everyone hates my cousin and she only had three friends and her mother couldn't see that. I don't think I laughed so hard in my life.

This brings me to now. I am now doing my a levels, hoping to go to university next summer and I have a job. What's she doing? Well she was in college studying hair and beauty, which she's terrible at, the way she makes herself look is rediculous. That's not the point, a few weeks ago, I found out that she's pregnant. I'm 17, she's almost 17. She's been with her boyfriend for three months and she's keeping the baby. This makes me happy, it sounds horrible but we've hated eachother since the day she was born. She's ruined her life. She's dropping out of college and getting a flat with her boyfriend. She's going to be just like her older sister, on the dole as a young mum letting other people pay for her to live. This is shameful. But what I really want to know is of she is still going to be the favourite when I become more successful. We'll just have to wait and see.