I Should Be 10 Years Older

I have only been able to legally drink for just over a year, I turned 19 in February and I've noticed that I'm not your typical 'young adult', I seem way older than that. I do not act my age at all,

Even before I turned 18, I was known as the alcoholic, not literally, just meaning that I was the classic party animal up for anything and I was, I was the clown who was just out there. I loved being of the legal age and going out with my friends, getting drunk and dancing the night away. I did this for a while, started university and I was still going, I really did love it.

After a while, I realised that I didn't want to be going out as much, I was getting bored of going out to clubs because I was basically living the same night over and over again. We would pre drink at the flat until around 12 and then hit the club with the same people. I was reliving the same night and I was starting to hate it. I continued to go out, live these same nights but after a while I found myself just observing people, observing girls who wanted attention, I wasn't judging them, I mean people can do whatever they like but I just realised that all young people give a shit about what they look like when they are out, I am one for looking nice but I am not one of those going out to look for a guy to go home with. Again I am not judging these people, this is their idea of fun and they are entitled to that. I personally have never been out looking for a guy to go home with.

For the past three years I have been on an annual weekend away with a bunch of older women, there were 20 of us and only 5 under the age of 40 including me. I will admit to anyone that I would take that weekend away over a night out with people my age any day. I am so much more in my element with the older women, I think this is simply because none of them give one single shit, I mean we do fancy dress every year, we were dressed as jockeys this year and Mexicans last year, In any club we would look like such idiots but there, we didn't, we had such a great time and I would do it over and over any day, not something I would say about your classic young womens night out.

I just think that in my mind I am 10 years older, not that I want to be, I am happy being my age and being in my life but I seem to be one with the older lot, it's so much easier to let my hair down, blow off some steam and have a cracking time without having to worry about who you kissed last night or getting this guy out of your bed the next morning. I love it.

Who you need...

When growing up, it is important to realise which people should really stay in your life. It's difficult to figure out who they are when your younger, but then it becomes really clear. If they don't fight to keep you in their lives, they're not important enough to stay in yours.

When moving away, at first I fought so hard to try and keep in touch with everyone at home, even those I didn't really speak to very often, but then it turns out that no matter how hard you try, you need to realise those who keep missing your calls and facetime's, they're not going to call you back. They are going to wait for you to make the effort because in reality, they don't care enough to do it themselves.

The one thing that really gets me are the one's who are supposed to be the closest people to you but in fact they don't bother with you unless you bother with them. I've actually only had this though in my head a few weeks but I thought I would put it too the test. For the past few weeks I have called, messaged and facetimed no one, I have made no effort in hope that the ones I thought I cared about would actually make the first move for one. It was hardly surprising to see that the total calls and messages from these specific people came to a huge... zero.

I'm going back home to Wales this weekend and I've decided that I am going to use my limited time with the people I think care enough about me. I am fed up of the time wasters who are happy enough to have the funny 'let's go have a laugh' Jess and the 'OMG you're so funny drunk. let's go out' when they are home and have no one else. No... not happening any more.

Focusing on my family and friends who actually care is my main goal for the next three weeks. I'll let you know how that goes.

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My Year Being 18

So it's the beginning of February and It's getting close to the end of my year being 18. I turn 19 on the 25th of this month and I'm really excited, I think I'm just done with being 18 now, I feel like I'm supposed to be an adult but I'm still a baby when it comes to joining the adult world. I don't want to wish my life away, I want to stop getting older when I hit 19, I think that's a decent age.

Anyway this post is basically looking back on my year of being 18, and what a year it has been, I have absolutely loved it, the best year I have had, the rest of my years have a lot to live up to.

So to start off, I had my 18th birthday. What a night, it was nothing big but it was amazing. My mum spoiled me rotten and my friends made the celebrations so great!

(Probably the only decent photo from that night. We all ended up in quite a state)


Secondly, I went on my second tour with my mum and her friends, these weekends are the most fun ever. Plenty of alcohol and laughs!

I won my third comedian award, this may not seem like a big thing to everyone else but it means something to me. Knowing I make people laugh and I can get a smile out of someone is a great feeling so it's nice to be known as the one who makes people laugh. ( I was also nominated for biggest drama queen, biggest gossip, most likely to have my own reality TV show and biggest party animal... sums me up really).

I finished my A-levels. This was probably the most stressful part of my year because I really wanted to do well, I wanted to do well to prove everyone wrong, prove that I can do what I put my mind to.

I went on the most amazing holiday with my best friends. It was amazing. We went to Menorca, no where party orientated simply because two of the girls were still 17 so it was nice to be able to chill instead of potentially drinking ourselves to death.

Results day... The most anticipated day of the year. The day I thought I would hate and ruin everything I was happy about. But it didn't! I had the best news that I got in to my first choice university and I have to admit, I have never been so proud of myself, it was the best feeling to have everyone proud of me too. My mum was in tears all the way through her shift at work, to be fair I cried with her a hell of a lot.

Moving to University. Bournemouth is a long way from my little town in Wales, it's so different too. But I'm so happy here, I have great friends, I'm loving my course and I have the most fun in work. All in all, I can't complain.

So there you have it, a summary of my past year. The most amazing year by far.

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♥Twitter: @itscressy
♥Personal Twitter: @jessicaa_lewis

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