It's only over the past year or so that I've been questioning if I believe in love or not, it's becoming quite a common thought. Of course you always get the one person you really like and can't stop thinking about but how do you know you love them? How do you know what love is?
What I'm trying to say is that personally, I don't believe that there is one person in the world that you are supposed to be with and that one person is supposed to be the one you are with for the rest of your life. Everyone gets bored of things eventually, imagine having your favourite song, you wake up listening to it, you listen to it while eating breakfast, while you're on your way to work, when you get home and when you go to sleep. You wouldn't want that forever, would you? Maybe it's just me, maybe I'm just being negative about it, some people might want that one person to share everything with for as long as they live.
I think the reason behind me not believing in it is the fact that my mum has been divorced three times, she obviously found happiness in each of her husbands, but it didn't last, it couldn't have lasted, boredom takes over eventually, yes ofcourse you still have feelings for them after you divorce them, but it is no longer the feeling that it was when they first met years before, there was no longer any passion, and for all of the men she divorced, came resentment. And not even a year after that, more men came, she didn't marry them but they were there, she said to each that she 'loved' them and in a matter of weeks they were gone again, there was the rest of my family waiting for another one to break my mums heart. If love exists, why does it include getting hurt along the way? Why does it cause heartbreak for not only the one who is searching for the one they are meant to be with, but the people around them too?
In my opinion, love is just a word! A word you say when you have strong feelings and affection for someone, it doesn't mean anything, you say it to make the other person happy and once you get bored, bye! No more love, just left there waiting for the next one to come along, have them tell you that they love you and then leave again.
Obviously I don't know what I'm talking about until I actually experience it, I'm only 16 but the thought of it baffles me.
I think the closest I've come to feeling it was last summer, I left school so I had three months of summer. I met this boy, I'd never seen him around before, never even knew his name before we met properly. Let's call him 'B'. He was a bit older than me, he was 19. I met him at the start of the three months, we talked everyday without fail and after a while we started seeing eachother as more than friends, I really liked him, it was in no way love but I had very strong feelings towards him. But the thing is, I didn't tell anyone about him, not even my friends. I don't know why but I couldn't bring myself to tell anyone when I knew he would be going away to university in September, I didn't see the point in having to tell everyone about him only to be disappointed when he left, so we just kept it the way it was. After the summer, he went to university, we agreed that we wouldn't carry on with whatever we were, there was no point, we were on different sides of the country, not only that but we only knew eachother for three months, it's not like we wouldn't get over it.
That brings me to my point, nothing lasts forever, it can't, can it? Love is something I can't quite get my head around, I see other people writing on social networks about how much they love the person they are with, some may have only been together for a couple of months, can you really find love in such a short length of time? A short while later you see that those people are no longer with the person they wrote about, but they have moved on to a different person.
I have a cousin, I don't particularly like her or her family but that's not the point, the point is that I see her with a different boy every few weeks, and it's the same routine...
1. She sees a boy who is averagely good looking
2. She doesn't really bother getting to know him
3. They get together
4. He meets her family
5. He stays with her a few weeks
6. They break up
This is a constant cycle, this is another thing that confuses me, if you don't get to know the person you are attracted to, how do you know that you are going to get along as a couple? It's like being with a total stranger!
Finally, marriage. Why? This is something I really don't understand the concept of. You meet someone, you like them, you fall in love with them, you pay to sign a contract to be with them for the rest of your life and then for most, you have to pay to get out of the contract to get away from them. Why the contract? Can't you just love someone enough that you don't have to sign anything, just tell them that you want to be with them, because that way if you change your mind, you don't have to spend a rediculous amount of money to leave. Why just one person for the rest of your life? You can't tell if that person is 'the one', you can't tell the future, you don't know what's going to happen that might break you apart. So why do it? I understand that people are committed to that person and they would like to be with them for the rest of their life, what I don't get is why you have to have it on paper, is it to prove a point in an argument? You argue about something, someone grabs the certificate and shout 'you promised', I really don't get it.
But who am I to say it's wrong? Heck, I might get married when I'm older, I'd rather I didn't but like
I said, it's impossible to read the future, I don't know what's going to happen, maybe someone will come along and prove me to be completely wrong, I'm only 16 so that won't be happening soon.
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